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Age as a Factor in Relationships
Being in a relationship with a person or a set of persons involves a number of personal and societal considerations. While there are many factors that people take into consideration when deciding on their relationships, age is one of the most important and controversial at the same time (Golson, 2007). This is because it is the factor that attracts more views and conflicting opinion. According to Heinrich (2004), the consideration of age when choosing social partners is considered as the factor that brings other contemplations such as finance into play. To explore this aspect, this paper will discuss the role of age in a relationship by analyzing the case for age as a factor and case against age as a factor.
Compatibility between two people is one of the main aspects of a relationship that people consider before formalizing their love relationship. This is because compatibility is the element that keeps the love going on even after the original attraction is faded. While age does not matter in terms of love, it is a key factor that determines compatibility (Mehta, 2013). People with a wide age gap between their ages have a higher probability of incompatibility in terms of their coherence with the ideas of each other. The incompatibility is because of the diversities between two age groups. According to Agnew (2014), there are several changes in fashion, preferences and social perspectives that come along with different age groups. As a result, age becomes an important element of relations.
Age is an important factor to consider because it determines the maturity level of the people in the relationship. People should enter into social relations based on their mental and physical abilities to sustain their relationship. The maturity or people to form healthy relationships are determined by their readiness to accept each other and care for each other. It is the readiness that also notifies a person of his ability to accommodate the view of the other. According to Heinrich (2004), a relationship can only be successful, it the partners in it are ready to let go of their personal perspectives and embrace the perspectives of others. The age of a person in most cases determines his or her readiness to associate, which is commonly termed as the maturity of a person.
The age of a person is tied to the legalities that are set up by the society or the government (Agnew, 2014). However, the legality is determined by the type of the relationship being formed. For instance, a relationship that involves a love affair can only be between people who are legally adults. The adult age is determined and set by the constitution as 18 years in some countries, but the number varies slightly across the globe (Golson, 2007). Any relationship between people of lower age or by an adult with a minor is deemed unfit. The law sets this requirement as a way of protecting the minors who are considered immature and so not ready for such relationships.
At the same time, the age of a person is considered to be an important element of determining the formality of a relationship in the public eye. When people relate in terms of intimate relationship, the government has set the regulations that determine the formality of the resulting union (Cantelo, 2010). While some countries have regulations on the legalization of relationships and marriages, others leave the task to the society (Agnew, 2014). The problem with the societies is that they consider relationships based on their cultural perspectives. In this regard, the age gap is the most influential factor in deciding whether a relationship is formal or not. When there is a large gap between the people in a relationship, the society deems it as inappropriate.
For personal satisfaction in a relationship, the age gap between the lovers is an important consideration. According to Cantelo (2010), it is sometimes embarrassing for a person to be dating a partner who is twenty or thirty years older. Heinrich (2004) cites a situation the two are walking into a social place and everyone is asking if the partner is a father or mother of the person. This affects the emotional comfort of a person as well as the feeling of being accepted in the society (Agnew, 2014). While some people do not consider that as a bother, most of the societies take it seriously, especially in the conservative cultures. This makes age an important factor to consider in terms of social acceptability.
On the other hand, age does not matter because it does not determine the love between two or more people. According to Heinrich (2004), a healthy relationship is based on the love that exists between two people. The element of age does not at any one time determine the depth of the love as well as the length of the love affair. Even if the relationship between people is affected by their ages, the love aspect between the people in a relationship is not impacted on (Mehta, 2013). This makes age an insignificant factor in a love affair or any social relationship between people. Moreover, the relationship between people depends more on their understanding of each other compared to the age diversities.
In addition, age does not necessarily measure the compatibility between people, just like it cannot measure the maturity. According to Heinrich (2004), age is just a number that does not necessarily carry a lot of weight in terms of emotional or behavioral aspects of people. For instance, a man of 25 years may have a relationship with a lady of the same age but may not be compatible. In fact, most relationships, people have problems that are not necessarily age-related.
Similarly, the maturity of a person cannot be measured in terms of the numbers that represent the age. People can be immature even when they are with a higher age or adults in terms of the societal definitions. For instance, a person can be forty years and yet he is mentally immature to handle the knowledge that comes along with a relationship. Moreover, he can be regarded as a mature adult legally, but his mind and behavior reflects a low level of maturity like that of a teenager. This means that such a man cannot have a healthy relationship due to the emotional immaturity that is associated with his behavior.
Conclusion
While age is a factor that many people consider as insignificant in the relationship, it is an important factor that helps determine the compatibility of two people. In a relationship, the only outward element that people see in a relationship is the compatibility of two people. Age is influential in the relationship and can be used to evaluate the perception that people are compatible and mature in a relationship. Therefore, age matters in a relationship.
References
Agnew, C.R. (2014). Social Influences on Romantic Relationships. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press
Cantelo, A. (2010). What’s Age Got to Do with It?: A Guide to Age Gap Relationships. London: Vision Paperbacks
Golson, W.T. (2007). On the Matter of Relationships. Maitland, FL: Xulon Press
Heinrich, T. (2004). Resistance to Change – Does Age Matter? London: Turnshare Publisher
Mehta, V. (2013). When It Comes To Dating, Do Age Differences Matter? Retrieved From <http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/head-games/201308/when-it-comes-dating-do-age-differences-matter> December 1, 2014